Living Life: Do You Want To Die Happy Or Sad?

“On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.” - Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club.

True, isn't it? If that is the case then why live that uninteresting half-dead pseudo monk-ish life? What's the use?

Why inhale just oxygen (which is polluted anyways)?

Why follow the vegetarian lifestyle?

For a healthier life?

For a longer life??

Now think about it this way - It isn't going to make you immortal. Instead, its going to make your stale pale life even longer. The older you grow the more morbid it becomes. And finally when you reach your death-bed you realize that you have not done anything at all in your entire life other than earning money and spending it on "buying things you don't need to impress people you don't like."

Right now is the time you need to wake up from your coma. Start tearing out grass from that dew covered field in the morning. Smoke some (other kind of) grass in the nights. Get stoned. Get drunk. Enjoy the different kinds of meat available to man, taste the different kinds of wine. Stop being angry all the time. Shed that attitude. Forget about the conference room. Start thinking about the smoke filled music room instead. The intoxication, the trance will make you realize that you are alive. In short, live life to the fullest.

Sounds hedonistic? Not quite. Read on...

'Practical' is the right expression here. I am just being practical here and showing you the reason why you should come out of that puny self-protective shell of yours which will break anyways, eventually. Start doing it now and embrace death as a happy old man OR -- just die as a sad, self-withered 'very' old man. The choice is yours...

Hok Kolorob

The Trinamool government, at the dead of the night on 17 September 2014, unleashed RAF and Commandos on innocent students of Jadavpur University in order to break their peaceful gherao of the Vice-Chancellor of the university. Lots of students were badly wounded. Plain clothed political goons accompanied the police and molested the girls. In a classic ambush fashion, all the gates were locked and the lights were switched off just before police pounced on the students, who were "armed" only with guitars and violins. These students just wanted one simple thing: that their friend, who got molested inside the University campus a few weeks ago should get a fair unbiased investigation.

This poem is against all those inhuman barbarians, politicians who think they can get away with anything simply because they have power in their hands. No they cannot. We will stop them. With our movement. Hok Kolorob has united us and now we will see this till the end. 'Hok Kolorob' in Bengali means 'Make Some Clamor'. Its indeed time to make some clamor.

লড়াই আমার রক্তে আছে
লড়াই আমার ঘামে,
আজ থেকে আর ভয় পাই না
রাজনৈতিক নামে।

সব কটা ওই বরাহ-শিশুর মুখ
আমি দেখতে পেয়ে গেছি,
(সুযোগ পেলে)
নিজের বোনের ছিঁড়বে জামা
আমি বুঝতে পেরে গেছি।

মদ, গাঁজার দোহাই দিস
কত ধরবি ভেক,
নিজের বাড়ির পিছনেই তোর
দেশী মদের ঠেক।

মার যত মার, মারতে পারিস
দেখি কত জোর,
রাজনৈতিক বিষ দাঁতটা
উপড়ে নেবো তোর।

আকাশ, বাতাস মাতিয়ে দেবো
কবিতায়ে আর গানে,
একজোট হয়ে বুঝিয়ে দেবো
আন্দোলনের মানে।

উপাচার্য তোকে নামতে হবে
চেঁচিয়ে বলো সব,
লাঞ্চিত বোনেদের ন্যায় চাই
আজ হোক কলরব... হোক কলরব...।

Bipolar Disorder - The Devil Within

I could never have mastered the courage to write this post but for a fellow sufferer Summer Moon. An extremely courageous person who have been fighting with bipolar disorder for a long time. This post of mine is actually inspired by this post of Summer. Summer's words there have given life to my feelings.

It’s quite some time now that I have been suffering from Bipolar disorder. The first time it occurred, I was in college, second year. The year was 2004. I started going into intense depressions but didn't know the real reason behind it then. I simply thought it has something to do with my doping or a tumultuous love affair. But the night I somehow stopped myself from slashing my wrist I made up my mind that I need to go see a doctor. I kept the whole thing a secret from my parents since in India most parents don't approve of the fact that their children are visiting a psychiatrist. The doctor spoke to me for like two hours, prescribed me Lithium Carbonate and said its most likely monopolar or bipolar disorder. Over the next 1 year, I visited him three more times to finally find out that it’s a Type - II bipolar disorder.

This thing has been with me since then. I am either working 30 hours at a stretch, eating more than the double of my normal appetite, having 10 hour long video game sessions or sitting morosely in the darkness of my room, despising everything and everyone in the world, contemplating suicide.

Many a times I thought, what if I didn't have this. How my life could have been different if I was not attacked by this disorder. How my image could have been different. In what other ways (some of) my friends would have criticized me instead of just calling me a 'nutcase' behind my back. What would have my teacher said if he knew that it’s not an excuse for bad grades. In a situation where even the closest of your friends and family (including your dad) start stereotyping at the mention of the word 'bipolar', I found a turnaround for myself. I remembered how this disorder has accompanied me through every thick and thin. How it has helped me with extra-energy when I had to complete an urgent pitch presentation in 24 hours’ time. The problem itself has sort of become a close friend of mine when others abandoned me.

Based on this, I created different metaphors to live with. Whenever I go into a depression I would tell myself that my friend is angry with me and that's why I am sad too. Just give him some time, coax him a bit and everything will be fine. To certain extent this helped. But at the end of the day, it’s actually a devil you are fighting and not some offended friend. In order to do this successfully, what you really need is a bit of love and care.

In my worst days, I have seen an angel come into my dark room, light it up with her radiance and provide me with the much needed medicine of love along with the capsules of Lithium carbonate. She is the love of my life. She is my only hope. She hides away the blades and knives along with the whiskey/vodka bottles whenever I go into severe depressions. She takes unconditional (and unpaid) leaves from her otherwise hectic job to be with me, whenever she realizes things are not going fine. She knows how to cope with me when I am at my worst. I wish every sufferer like me had an angel like her in their lives to make things easier.

On that note, one small request to every reader here: Support the bipolar sufferers. Don't push them away. Love can be the best medicine. I guess, that's not asking for much...

Politics

Right is drawing our attention to the pressing need,
Every modern state seeks to achieve certain purpose.
It is freedom and positive hindrance taking heed,
But at least equally in various ways doing trespass.
People's effective control over those who yield power,
Are the one whose supreme sovereignty cannot arise.
Concentration of power in a single center shall shower,
The order implies a right to obedience in disguise.

Enlightened self-interest however told men,
The generation of such a deadly great Leviathan.
Force and fraud were its cardinal virtues then,
Authorized all that the ruler does and run.
Competition and war in which everyone would be,
Virtues and vices, only rule, always should be.

Rape. A Question...

Its been a while that India is going through the rape crisis. The growing numbers of rape seem unstoppable. Be it an urban metro city or a remote village, the story is just the same. Women are being brutalized everywhere. Being a citizen of this country, as much as I am ashamed, I am frightened more. One of my colleagues once asked me, what is that you fear the most? And my prompt reply was, "rapists". Since a man was saying this, he started laughing. I made my point saying, my sisters, my female friends, my fiancé roam around on the streets alone and I keep thinking almost all the time how safe are they. In a country where neither a 6 year old kid nor a 80 year old lady is safe anymore, what is the safety assurance of a common citizen?

There are a lot of analyses and counter-analyses doing the rounds. Some saying sexuality and objectification of women in cinema should be banned. Others are going a step ahead and saying that prostitution should be legalized. And again some are saying that proper education should be given to everyone. These are all valid points at their own places, no doubt, but these do not provide any solution to the real problem.

With the Modi government coming into power we can just hope that things will get better with stricter laws. We can just hope. But is it really their headache to set things right? They roam around with security guards all the time. Their family members are not at peril. What if they don't give a shit? What if they don't do anything? Of course we can throw them off the chair then but that would be after 5 long years.

Instead of waiting for the government to take steps, what can we do to make the streets a safer place for the women of this country? How can we make sure that the rapists get scared well enough to suppress their animal instincts and don't dare touch a single woman citizen of India?

I am still searching for the answer...